Success and failure are equally disastrous.

Nothing fails like success.

Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart.

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students - there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks.

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

When I hear the word "culture" I reach for my gun.

Culture is an instrument wielded by professors to manufacture professors who when their turn comes, will manufacture professors.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.