My heart is pure as the driven slush.

England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.

New York: where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.

Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized.

Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.

The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.

The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.

I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.