I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

I used to be a lawyer, but now I am a reformed character.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

Judge: a law student who marks his own papers.

I honestly believe that in my lifetime we will see a country once again governed by Christians...and Christian values. What Christians have got to do is take back this country, one precinct at a time, one neighborhood at a time, and one state at a time.

A communist is a person who publicly airs his dirty Lenin.

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country.

Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.

Music is essentially useless, as life is.

Every man is the architect of his own fortune.