Nowadays a citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that the fine is generally much lighter.

I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn....

In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.

Etymology, n.:<br> Some early etymological scholars come up with derivations that were hard for the public to believe. The term "etymology" was formed from the Latin "etus" ("eaten"), the root "mal" ("bad"), and "logy" ("study of"). It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow."

Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an over- dose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.

It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.

He marries best who puts it off until it is too late.

Promote yourself, but do not demote another.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.