Popularity is the one insult I have never suffered.

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

National Health Insurance:<br> The compassion of the IRS<br> The efficiency of the Postal Service<br> All at Pentagon prices!!!!

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

Courtly love-poetry may first have been written during long periods of abstinence on the Crusades, but it would not have flourished in the cold of northern Europe without some help from the chimney.

There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.

The strongest man in the world is the man who stands alone.

Reason and Justice tell me that there is more love of man in electricity and steam, than in chastity and refusal to eat meat.

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.