What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

Did blind chance know that there was light and what was its refraction, and fit the eyes of all creatures after the most curious manner to make use of it? These and other suchlike considerations, always have, and always will prevail with mankind, to believe that there is a Being who made all things, who has all things in his power, and who is therefore to be feared.

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.