Love is a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

A ship in harbor is safe--- but that is not what ships are for.

Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself.

The Pilgrim Fathers landed on the shores of America and fell upon their knees. Then they fell upon the aborigines.

Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.

On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime.

When it is a question of money, everyone is of the same religion.

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.

Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols, or bombs without incurring any penalties.