When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.

Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.

Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.

Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

Without the aid of prejudice and custom I should not be able to find my way across the room.