Violence is the way stupid people try to level the playing field.

No man is allowed to be a judge in his own cause, because his interest would certainly bias his judgment, and, not improbably, corrupt his integrity. With equal, nay with greater reason, a body of men are unfit to be both judges and parties at the same time.

It is long since I have learned to hold popular opinion of no value.

The same state of the passions which fits the multitude, who have not sufficient stock of reason and knowledge to guide them, for opposition to tyranny and oppression, very naturally leads them to a contempt and disregard of all authority.

I fixed my eyes on the larget cloud, as if, when it passed out of my sight, I might have the good luck to pass with it.

I understand that smoking is vaguely inappropriate in certain situations. You know, like an orphanage, cancer ward, whatever.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Politicians are the same all over. they promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

Now I understand why Henry VIII started his own church.

We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent.