The woman of my dreams knows how to break into systems.

We are just tenants on this world. We have just been given a new lease, and a warning from the landlord.

If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.

How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

If there is one basic element in our Constitution, it is civilian control of the military.

Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.