Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage.

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Never have children, only grandchildren.

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.

You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.

Never do anything when you are in a temper, for you will do everything wrong.

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.