My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag.

We need to make a decision, no matter what it is.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

There are tones of voices that mean more than words.

He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself; and if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you.

Do not wrong or hate your neighbor, for it is not he that you wrong: You wrong yourself.