The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy...neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.

...in the lexicon of the political class, the word "sacrifice" means that the citizens are supposed to mail even more of their income to Washington so that the political class will not have to sacrifice the pleasure of spending it.

The universe is made of stories, not atoms.

Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.

Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?

Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DOE<br> <br> Unbearably lovely music is heard as the curtain rises, and we see the woods on a summer afternoon. A fawn dances on and nibbles slowly at some leaves. He drifts lazily through the soft foliage. Soon he starts coughing and drops dead.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.